21/03/2004
Happy Birthday To Me
Today's my eighteenth birthday. Getting dark.
I walk alone and smoke in desert park
This day is not a holiday for me
I wish I've never got a chance to be
I never felt such emptiness inside
But I knew what I did, I wasn't blind
I always knew it's gonna end like this
But never cared and did just what I pleased
I am not sorry, I'm quite satisfied
It's all quite logical, and everything is right
I don't need no one's understanding. But
I know the string of my life should be cut
2/01/2006
The grass is grey like ashes of empires
I guess my world committed suicide
The dying cities melt in nuclear fires
And when they turn to dust comes timeless night
I step in bitter waters and I feel
Like I am floating in my mother's womb
This blood of perished world has strength to heal
Was it you, Savior, who has dropped the bomb?
I'm waiting for my dawn of dying light
The acid rains had washed my tears away
It is so strange to feel I'm no more blind
When there is no place left for me to stay
4/01/2006
The winds of north brought scent of toxic smog
Fresh grass was tangled with fallen leaves and trash
And so we were - you, star of our block
And I - a morbid soul in virgin flesh
I was "another one", you were - the only
We were just friends, I never wanted you
I always felt all right when being lonely
Till you proposed to show me something new
It's all my fault - I knew what I was doing
And I'm not playing "spoiled innocence"
The lying to themselves deserve the fooling
Thank you, my love - you taught me common sense
The winds of north brought scent of toxic smog
Fresh grass was tangled with fallen leaves and trash
And so we were - you, star of our block
And I - a morbid soul in virgin flesh
I was "another one", you were - the only
We were just friends, I never wanted you
I always felt all right when being lonely
Till you proposed to show me something new
It's all my fault - I knew what I was doing
And I'm not playing "spoiled innocence"
The lying to themselves deserve the fooling
Thank you, my love - you taught me common sense
4/01/2006
The empty afterparty streets are filled with wind and trash
My dying soul is no more sore - all dues are paid in cash
I was a part of wasted crowd, and I felt so much strong
It didn't matter where and how just wanting to belong
And that was such a desperate need that I at last forgot
All of my pains and doubts and fears, been left with only thought -
Why did I want not long ago to get out of the crowd?
But that crowd wasn't the one to say such corny thing aloud...
23/07/2010
pulsing in my mind
pulsing in my soul
we are all like one
giant empty hole
feel it in your brain
feel it in your crotch
primal fear and lust
crowd begging for a touch
kingdoms rise and fall
people stay the same
form is changeable
contents do remain
fear the ancient gods
or fear your own background
while you fight the symptoms
virus lets you down
try to understand it
see deeper than it feels
this virus came to you heal you
it's only you who kills.
2/06/2012
i'm washing strawberries so clean
their juice pours down my hands like blood
i like it as you like your hype
another safer surrogate
i dreamed that dream where all my veins
split open and were bleeding dirt
i never stopped that bleeding cause
i knew there's no rest without hurt
that juice was sweet, that dirt was fake
all signs and wonders were futile
recursive fun that hamsters have
running in wheel another mile
split your own ego, drown in wine,
join the generic game of life,
or maybe strive to reach divine
(to find yourself bored out of your mind)
the road's still lonely, long and dim
and fellow nomads leave your side
and roadsides are not what they seem
and gods are listless, vague and blind.
13/04/2015
10/06/2015
30/03/2016